So, in the interest of both gaining insight about a recent decision and getting to know the Thoth deck better, I did a reading this morning:
Deck: Thoth


                                  6s/3c
6w/Magician                                  PcofS/High Priestess
                            Hanged Man
AofC/Death                                    Empress/PsofS
                                   7c/7p

Key: Pc = Prince, Ps = Princess

So. The Hanged Man, right in the center, reminds me that this is an in-between point, a hanging in the margins and the doorways. Waiting for fullness. It's also a card of sacrifice, describing what the other party in the relationship is prepared to do on my account.
As a result of this decision, much brainpower and effort will be applied to the relationship, as well as a renewal of feeling and love (6s/3c). Strenuous, mainly mental, effort (probably on his part) will be balanced by stillness, intactness, and a depth of sight. I *will* maintain my position as queen of my castle, my life, with emphasis on my ability to deal with the small things - organizing, planning, scheduling - with ease and grace (Empress/PsofS).
There will be growth/change...but what kind is uncertain. These cards have positive connotations in two of my other decks - 7c is about divine inspiration, dreams (which may or may not be full of insight or folly); 7p is about cultivating, facilitating growth. In the Thoth deck, though, 7c is key-worded as "Debauch," and is about what happens when pleasure ceases to please, when it is corrupted. Likewise, 7p is key-worded as "Failure," talking about how efforts can stagnate and fall short. I'm a big believer in a card's meaning shifting by deck...but I'm also a believer in drawing on the whole well of knowledge one has about a card to help in understanding it. So I'm torn. This could either be "inspired change" or "folly doomed to fail".
HOWEVER, either way, there will be a Transformational flowering/flowing of emotion/heart, which will radically change the relationship (AofC/Death) - this is where it'll be abundantly clear which way things will go. Then, clear victory, satisfaction, and independence result (6w/Magician). Woot!

So, the thing I like about this reading is that it makes me feel good about both outcomes. That said, this is probably an instance where a reading from Someone Else would have been a good thing, as I'm clearly Too Damn Close to the situation.

Last night, I asked the women I Work spiritually with to do a reading for me - a general sort of "Am I on the right track/What are my next steps" reading.
Deck: Mythic Tarot
13-card spread

9c____________9p____________High Priestess
____Tower_____________4c
Magician_____Strength_________Wheel
____Hermit___________Empress
QofP__________3w____________3s

Key:
c - Cups, p - pentacles, w - wands, s-swords

Breakdown:
7/13 - Major Arcana
2/13 - pentacles
2/13 - cups
1/13 - wands
1/13 - swords
2/13 - 9s (cups and pentacles)
2/13 - 3s (swords and wands)

This spread always breaks down in different ways. This time, it reads from right to left, with the right column being Where I've Been, the center circle being Where I Am Now, and the left column being Where I'm Headed.
Where I've Been:
This all started when I started the descent that is 2nd Degree work and dedicated to Persephone (High Priestess - no, literally. She's on the card.). It was the dedication specifically that got the Wheel (which is the 3 Fates in my deck) turning, got events going, got me thinking and moving towards this point. I've undergone/am undergoing the transition/transformation which is heartbreak (3 of swords)...I tried to ignore it, but the cutting-away is necessary.
Where I Am:
I am being Strong (Strength is Hercules in my deck), wrestling my rebellious heart into submission, fighting with my emotions. I feel like I've done everything I was supposed to do, but it's not enough - it isn't making me truly happy (9 of pentacles). I am/have been listening to others, examining options, and figuring out which cups/courses to choose (4c). By choosing the bitter cup, I accept myself as a full woman, sovereign in her own right, gorgeous and whole. I connect with my soul and deepest desires (Empress - who is Demeter). This allows me to both negotiate/demand the return of my personal power/sovereignty, as well as integrate the less accessible/familiar parts of myself (3 of wands). As a part of this process, walking alone and looking inward is vital; taking time to and for myself and allowing myself to just be with this is necessary (Hermit). For, as my friend Trance says, "Don't worry. Everything you don't need will be taken away from you." All the things I thought I needed and wanted will crumble away/are crumbling away, leaving me able to exercise my desires and will to shape my life (Tower).
Where I'm Going:
After the unnecessary is stripped away, it seems that I enter into a period of fulfillment. As I heal emotionally, I will rediscover fulfilling, wonderful, human relationships on my terms that nurture and support me while maintaining my freedom (9 of cups). Likewise, as I heal and grow, my personal and spiritual power will expand, and I will grow more comfortable with it and how I'm supposed to use it best (The Magician, who is Hermes). On top of that, I will find a place of comfort and stability in my mundane life - in finances, material matters, etc (Q of Pentacles.).
Trance also dropped these three cards for further clarification: The Chariot, the Knight of Wands, and the Queen of Cups. The first two comment on my Must Wrestle Situation Into Submission attitude, and the last offers an alternative. As my friend Opal said, "Don't do the fire, do the water. Flow, let these things wash over you instead of trying to hold onto and/or destroy them."

Later in the night, I also did a reading for myself with the Thoth deck, mainly as a getting-to-know you exercise, as I'm not familiar with the deck, except to know that I like the artwork, but have my doubts about being able to use it. My inquiry focused on my job/income situation - what should I do/what productive steps should I take in that area? This was the spread:
______________5s/?? (I have forgotten)
Kt of P/Star_____________Kt of W/Ps of W
____________Chariot
7c/Qof S_______________8w/High Priestess
___________AofW/Universe

Again, we have the What You Don't Need will go away (5s), BUT, with energy (all the wands) and creativity, your deep gifts (Priestess) will bring you to a place of abundant resources (Universe) where you can kick back and relax for awhile, while you strategize (7c/QofS). Then you can take leisurely steps while relishing your life and work (Kt of P/Star). I think the deck and I might get along.
What do I need to know about the actions I have taken/should take in my job search?
 
9s
Empress                                     2p
Fool
Kt. of W***                                      2s*
Justice**
Clarifiers:
*Kt of C, World, 2c
** 4s, 5s, Hanged Man
*** 3s, 10s, Kg of S

NB: This was with the Mythic Tarot deck, so Fool = Dionysus, Justice = Athena, Kt. of W = Bellarophen, Empress = Demeter, Kt. of C = Perseus, World = Ourouborous, Hanged Man = Prometheus, and Kg of S = Odysseus.

So. I'm just starting on this Job Thing, all fresh-faced and haphazard (Fool). I'm worried as hell by the whole situation (9s). Things are shifting, I feel very insecure financially. I'm trying to find money/source of income, but it's eluding me (2p). I feel pulled, torn in this process (2s) by Hades (Kt of C), who looms very, very large in my life (World), and that relationship (2c) is not making this process easier because my mental energy is torn between job searching and relationship maintenance. What should happen, what makes Sense (Justice) is for me to Calm the Fuck Down (4s), accept that jobs are in short supply - and perhaps accept that I'm not qualified for an administrative job? (5s) - and hang watchfully till the course emerges (Hanged Man). When the course emerges (and/or I accept it as a Viable Possibility), I must pursue valiantly, audaciously, passionately (Kt of W). This may feel like a betrayal of something...may go against reason or Good Sense (3s), but this is the Worst Things can Get, and the night is breaking (10s). The worries will stop. My mind will quiet, and I will be intellectually sound and fulfilled - and victorious in gaining employment (Kg of S). And I will Go Forth and work productively, being happy, being fulfilled, being prosperous (Empress).
So, yeah. I don't like being told to Wait. But that's what I'm hearing. Times are hard, but the right thing is out there. And the Erinyes won't Get You. Go after the Shiny with all yr heart, even if it doesn't make Sense, but don't fret about letting some of the more Sensible and Dull jobs slide. Hades sustains and troubles you. This is just a fact, so deal with it and take it into consideration when planning and dealing with yourself. And most importantly - All Shall Be Well, and All Shall Be Well, and All Manner of Thing Shall Be Well, Bitches.

Praise Her from whom all blessings flow!
Praise Her all creatures here below!
Praise Her all the fair fae host!
Praise Her whom we revere the most!


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