Persephone's Loom

I went from Malkuth, where I talked with the 2-headed snake, to Yesod for Communion with the Lady, to Tiphareth for a Kiss from Aslan, to Binah, to the black ocean (which only ever came up to my ankles, and felt the same temperature as the air, just thicker and wetter) and into the cave. The Oracle was sitting on a tripod, deathly white and silent, over the chasm. Then Hecate appeared behind her, hand on the shoulder. She looked at me, penetrating, but silent. Mary appeared beside her, also silent in her blue robes. Kali appeared on the other side, grinning madly, but quiet. Then my Lady, Persephone, appeared - the all in all, the completeness, the paradox resolved. I asked them what they would have of me - they asked me not to deny complexity, to allow all of them in me. They asked me to become comfy with silence - not as repression, but as the apparent sterility that allows for things to germinate and grow, in the Deep and the Dark before they can reach the light. In the silence that is instead of hurtful words. In the silence that allows for mistakes, for finding the way for oneself. In the Silence of God, where we are not alone, but we feel so, and learn to do for ourselves. I was invited to sit on the tripod (high seat?) and i felt the vapors around me. I felt myself surrounded by their wisdom and love. And I asked about scrying, about divination. Freya, golden and gorgeous, bounded up to me and told me that I did right, that she was happy,a nd that it would come in time - not in a day, not in a year, but keep coming back, with patience and love, and it would come. She was happy with me, and would help. I sat in silence for a time till it was time to go back. I bade farewell to each, and returned as I came. Persephone asked me, in Yesod, if I felt better, if all was well - and yes, yes I did feel better. yes, yes, all was well. And would be well.

I went up through Hod, telling Rapheal that I was now going to Geburah, as he'd told me to do. The Hanged Man on the path between Hod and Geburah was very, very powerful for me, walking that path.
Standing before the gates fo Geburah was like standing before the Black Gate of Mordor, but I reminded myself that it is NOT Mordor - it is a place with good and useful things for me, for me to learn. I proclaimed before the gate that I have a Right to enter, in the name of Lugh of the Long Hand, and enter I shall.
I did, and it was all black and firey. Fissures with fire streaming up. The Temple was a black Grecian temple with a forge inside. Hephestaeus was there. So was Kali. I asked her, Mama-ji, what do I need to know here? She reached into my chest, pulled out my heart, and started taking bites out of it (only when I allow my strength to overcome my love - for a time - can I do what I must). She told me that I must give her my heart in order to have her help, to feel her power. "And then, my little star, you will learn to burn the things that must be burned." I protested that I couldn't give her my heart, as it had already been given (to Yesod, I thought). "Yes, but it can be given many times. YOU know that." You must give it to me to do what you need to do. But it'll hurt! I said. Yes, she said, but if you call on me -and on your Ag-ni too, I might add - we'll give you strength to endure. But you won't take my weakness/vulnerability, Mama-ji? I don't want to lose that. No, just give you strength for Getting Through. When you give me your heart, I can help you free it from others. I told her I needed to go. She gave me a lotus with my heart in the middle. I plucked my heart out and gave it back to her - freely, I said.

Netzach:
From Malkuth, I traveled to Netzach via a crescent moon elevator-thing. For me, Netzach appeared as a beautiful beach with emerald water. The temple was a huge scallop shell, standing upright, with a fire and Botticelli's Aphrodite in it. She did not speak or respond to greetings, so I chanted around the fire, praising the Goddess, then went to the sea. I jumped in, swimming deep, breathing underwater. I saw plants, life, a dolphin, with whom I played and rode. Then I came upon Mary/Kwan Yin, seated on her lotus. I knew I recognized the place, and said so: "I've been here before, right? I've seen You here before."
"Of course. And I'll always be here for you, in the heart of your heart." She held me close to her, like always, and I pestered her for What I Needed To Learn about this place, this realm. She told me that I already knew to follow my heart, but not let it rule me. To neither value Hod above Netzach, nor Netzach above Hod. She then pointed out a pearl being made, and told me that it was so with all the things in this realm that are painful and/or annoying to me - the irritants will become beautiful with time and care. They are valuable too. She gave me a circlet of pearls, and bade me return when I Need Her. Then I left as I'd come.