Persephone's Loom

Last night, I asked the women I Work spiritually with to do a reading for me - a general sort of "Am I on the right track/What are my next steps" reading.
Deck: Mythic Tarot
13-card spread

9c____________9p____________High Priestess
____Tower_____________4c
Magician_____Strength_________Wheel
____Hermit___________Empress
QofP__________3w____________3s

Key:
c - Cups, p - pentacles, w - wands, s-swords

Breakdown:
7/13 - Major Arcana
2/13 - pentacles
2/13 - cups
1/13 - wands
1/13 - swords
2/13 - 9s (cups and pentacles)
2/13 - 3s (swords and wands)

This spread always breaks down in different ways. This time, it reads from right to left, with the right column being Where I've Been, the center circle being Where I Am Now, and the left column being Where I'm Headed.
Where I've Been:
This all started when I started the descent that is 2nd Degree work and dedicated to Persephone (High Priestess - no, literally. She's on the card.). It was the dedication specifically that got the Wheel (which is the 3 Fates in my deck) turning, got events going, got me thinking and moving towards this point. I've undergone/am undergoing the transition/transformation which is heartbreak (3 of swords)...I tried to ignore it, but the cutting-away is necessary.
Where I Am:
I am being Strong (Strength is Hercules in my deck), wrestling my rebellious heart into submission, fighting with my emotions. I feel like I've done everything I was supposed to do, but it's not enough - it isn't making me truly happy (9 of pentacles). I am/have been listening to others, examining options, and figuring out which cups/courses to choose (4c). By choosing the bitter cup, I accept myself as a full woman, sovereign in her own right, gorgeous and whole. I connect with my soul and deepest desires (Empress - who is Demeter). This allows me to both negotiate/demand the return of my personal power/sovereignty, as well as integrate the less accessible/familiar parts of myself (3 of wands). As a part of this process, walking alone and looking inward is vital; taking time to and for myself and allowing myself to just be with this is necessary (Hermit). For, as my friend Trance says, "Don't worry. Everything you don't need will be taken away from you." All the things I thought I needed and wanted will crumble away/are crumbling away, leaving me able to exercise my desires and will to shape my life (Tower).
Where I'm Going:
After the unnecessary is stripped away, it seems that I enter into a period of fulfillment. As I heal emotionally, I will rediscover fulfilling, wonderful, human relationships on my terms that nurture and support me while maintaining my freedom (9 of cups). Likewise, as I heal and grow, my personal and spiritual power will expand, and I will grow more comfortable with it and how I'm supposed to use it best (The Magician, who is Hermes). On top of that, I will find a place of comfort and stability in my mundane life - in finances, material matters, etc (Q of Pentacles.).
Trance also dropped these three cards for further clarification: The Chariot, the Knight of Wands, and the Queen of Cups. The first two comment on my Must Wrestle Situation Into Submission attitude, and the last offers an alternative. As my friend Opal said, "Don't do the fire, do the water. Flow, let these things wash over you instead of trying to hold onto and/or destroy them."

Later in the night, I also did a reading for myself with the Thoth deck, mainly as a getting-to-know you exercise, as I'm not familiar with the deck, except to know that I like the artwork, but have my doubts about being able to use it. My inquiry focused on my job/income situation - what should I do/what productive steps should I take in that area? This was the spread:
______________5s/?? (I have forgotten)
Kt of P/Star_____________Kt of W/Ps of W
____________Chariot
7c/Qof S_______________8w/High Priestess
___________AofW/Universe

Again, we have the What You Don't Need will go away (5s), BUT, with energy (all the wands) and creativity, your deep gifts (Priestess) will bring you to a place of abundant resources (Universe) where you can kick back and relax for awhile, while you strategize (7c/QofS). Then you can take leisurely steps while relishing your life and work (Kt of P/Star). I think the deck and I might get along.

Hod:
For me, Hod looked like a warm, wood-paneled library. I tried to talk to the 2-headed snake I saw lingering in the stacks, but he grinned at me and shook his heads. The temple of Hod was an eight-sided sanctum with all the books and references I'd ever want - I knew they were mine. Hermes, Odin, and Loki were there, as well as Raphael. I tried to talk to Odin, but he didn't say anything. So, I browsed the shelves, but nothing caught my fancy. I noticed that I couldn't read the books, but I didn't feel that was a hindrance to understanding them. I finally talked to Raphael and apologized for my arrogance and preconceptions of Knowing A Lot about the realm of Hod - I knew I possessed them, and had been trying to avoid them, but it felt like I hadn't been doing a good job of it. Raphael said it's true...I do know what words can do. I know they can show truth, or hide it. I know they shape reality. I know logic is good, but can be misleading. I know words are true as gold and slippery as fish. He told me not to worry - This is one of the places I Know. Not, perhaps, a place I do a lot of Work (outside school, of course), but a place I Know. Right before I left, Odin gave me a gold coin - a "little extra light for the dark places", and kissed me and called me daughter. Raphael touched my third eye, and blessed me. I gave them words, song of my soul...and then I left.

As unpaid, informalish Clergy, I...

• help lead rituals for full moons and pagany holidays - on about an every-other-month basis.
• publicize and help organize all public rituals performed by my Circle, every month. Sending out emails, collecting information, sharing directions...etc.
• sometimes do a little divination for people who ask. Mostly Tarot.
• pray.
• prod my comfort zones as a leader/facilitator of worship/rituals.
• provide informal counsel for friends.
• try to help build and connect community.

If I were Clergy, for a living (or part of my living), I would also ideally...

• perform Transition rituals like: handfastings, weddings, passings, separations, menarche rituals, coming-of-age rituals, namings, coming-into-sexuality rituals, home blessings, etc. These would not only be for pagans...but for anyone who likes my style, wants something outside the Church, UU, or strictly Wiccan-y traditions. Agnostics (and respectful/symbol-oriented atheists) welcome.
• be known as a trusted source for divination and/or counsel, and perform those functions on a relatively regular basis.
• conduct/facilitate monthly community rituals - full moons for prosperity and celebration and gratitude and/or dark moons for dealing with Needs and release. Agnostics (and respectful/symbol-oriented atheists) welcome.
• accept gifts, trade of services, donations (monetary and otherwise), etc. to help me be able to devote so much Time to ClergyWork.
• **learn more about pastoralish counseling so's I can do pre-nuptial, grief, and other sorts with confidence and a clear conscience.