The Wheel path, from Netzach to Chesed, was an exercise in log-rolling - dancing atop the wheel, or letting myself experience its cycles. Chesed was a sky full of clouds, misty and dim. The Heavenly City shone in the distance, an in it was the Temple. The Temple looked much like I imagined the Jerusalem Temple would have looked. Gaudior ( a unicorn met in A Swiftly Tilting Planet ) was there, and I greeted him, joyfully. I talked to the High Priest-looking fellow on the throne, asking what I needed to know. I addressed myself to "King David, King Soloman, kings of Israel and Judah," and they told me about mercy and kingship. Mercy doesn't always look like mercy. Mercy can be severe. Justice is important, but mercy more so. Now that you've been strong with yourself, you can be merciful with yourself - and severity is mercy, sometimes. I went to the Ark of the Covenant, and asked to look inside. Inside, on a scroll, was my covenant with Deity, specifically with Yahweh and his Son. He nodded, and told me that though I'm not exclusively his anymore, I am still his, in a way. He told me that he is a jealous god (he laughed), but that "jealous" means "wants what is his portion," and that Persephone is the same, and it's cool. He reminded me that service to them is authority, and bondage to Deity is perfect freedom. I put my scroll in teh fire, not destroying, but offering as sacrifice. Then Yahweh offered me my own small throne beside his, from which I watched th parts of my life go past, like children. I patted and cooed over them, and was confident of my authority. Then it was time to go, so I went to say goodbye. Gaudior coughed up a pearl, which I set in the center of my forehead as a diadem - a symbol of this merciful, shining authority. And I left.
I went from Malkuth, where I talked with the 2-headed snake, to Yesod for Communion with the Lady, to Tiphareth for a Kiss from Aslan, to Binah, to the black ocean (which only ever came up to my ankles, and felt the same temperature as the air, just thicker and wetter) and into the cave. The Oracle was sitting on a tripod, deathly white and silent, over the chasm. Then Hecate appeared behind her, hand on the shoulder. She looked at me, penetrating, but silent. Mary appeared beside her, also silent in her blue robes. Kali appeared on the other side, grinning madly, but quiet. Then my Lady, Persephone, appeared - the all in all, the completeness, the paradox resolved. I asked them what they would have of me - they asked me not to deny complexity, to allow all of them in me. They asked me to become comfy with silence - not as repression, but as the apparent sterility that allows for things to germinate and grow, in the Deep and the Dark before they can reach the light. In the silence that is instead of hurtful words. In the silence that allows for mistakes, for finding the way for oneself. In the Silence of God, where we are not alone, but we feel so, and learn to do for ourselves. I was invited to sit on the tripod (high seat?) and i felt the vapors around me. I felt myself surrounded by their wisdom and love. And I asked about scrying, about divination. Freya, golden and gorgeous, bounded up to me and told me that I did right, that she was happy,a nd that it would come in time - not in a day, not in a year, but keep coming back, with patience and love, and it would come. She was happy with me, and would help. I sat in silence for a time till it was time to go back. I bade farewell to each, and returned as I came. Persephone asked me, in Yesod, if I felt better, if all was well - and yes, yes I did feel better. yes, yes, all was well. And would be well.